Opening up closed adoption in Ireland
April 23, 2024
Irish- born adoptee Bernadette Covo explains her study of the personal experiences of individuals who, like her, have had closed adoptions.
Most people don’t hesitate when they’re asked where they come from or who they got their eye colour from. They know the answers. They’re part of their DNA – literally – and their identity. But people who’ve experienced a closed adoption can’t answer those seemingly straightforward questions, and they can feel awkward, sad, or even ashamed when they’re asked.
When I began my doctorate in psychotherapy research, I didn’t know what to study. Something relevant to my clients? DiJerent ideas came and went, but none stuck around. Although adoption was a subject that was personal to me and relevant to therapy clients, I initially dismissed the idea, because it had been researched to death – hadn’t it? All those children and adults over the decades throughout the world. There must be tons of studies on how they’ve fared, what they think and feel and how adoption has aJected them.
Well, no. Most of the research that has been done is of the medical kind. I found plenty of studies looking at whether we do better or worse in terms of mental health and ‘adjustment’ than non-adoptees. It was all about looking for diJerences, as part of an attempt to settle a debate about nature and nurture. Much of the research was from the USA and UK, both of which have had open adoption for several decades.
What was really missing from those decades of research was the voices of those most aJected: adoptees, first parents (there’s still almost no research on first fathers) and adoptive parents and siblings. Where they were asked, it was often about specific things like searching for first families. Rarely had adoptees been asked to tell their whole story. In the Irish context, first mothers were only interviewed in depth for the first time three years ago, by researchers from UCG. But anecdotally, there seems to have been a lot of silence, stigma, and shame for everyone touched by closed adoption.
Although there’s been a lot of political and legal change recently in Ireland, such as the Redress Scheme and the Birth and Information Tracing Act, these have come about without full consultation or adequate understanding. An example is the requirement to have spent at least 180 days in a mother and baby home, to be eligible for redress. That might be financially prudent for the government, but it shows a complete lack of understanding of people’s experiences, and risks adding insult to injury. Trauma doesn’t begin on day 181!
So I decided to research the experience of Irish people who have had closed adoptions, giving them a chance to share their stories in full. I’ll be interviewing a small number of people in depth to hear about how their adoption has aJected them, their loved ones, and their lives.
I hope the study will raise awareness of adoptees’ experiences, so that fellow adoptees don’t feel so isolated – when we’re seen for who we are, we feel more at home in ourselves. I also hope that I will help to change the conversation in Ireland, so that the shame and stigma are no longer borne by adoptees and their loved ones, but by the institutions of church and state who failed us in the past and continue to do so.
I’ve recruited several participants already, and am looking for two or three more whose experience matches the flyer. If that’s you, I’d love you to get in touch. Everyone who takes part will receive a copy of the findings, and anyone can contact me to stay informed about the study and receive a copy too.
Are you open to discussing your experience and the significance of it for you and your loved ones?
• Share your story in a confidentinal online interview, for an in-depth research study.
• Participants will receive a copy of the key insights and findings from the study.
• Email Bernadette Covo, researcher, at 06208@metanoia.ac.uk, to find out more.
In honour of Mo Mowlam, we are creating a collage called In Her Footsteps . This collage of pictures of ordinary, everyday women in our community will pay tribute to the unsung heroes, past and present, who have shaped our values and made the world we live in a better place, such as our nurses, Irish mammies, nannies, and any woman who we find inspirational. The collage will be on display at the Coventry Irish Society and will be unveiled at the Equal-i-tea on 19 August 2025 . If you would like to contribute to the collage, then please could you send us a photograph together with the name of your nominated person and a short sentence or two on who they are and why they inspire you. This will be quite a big project and therefore we will not be able to return photographs. We would also ask that written consent is obtained from any living person to be featured in the collage. Contributions can be handed to a member of staff in the office or emailed to: cis@covirishsoc.org.uk up and until 23 July 2025.
Mo Mowlam was a real changemaker; her courage and humanity played a vital role in bringing about The Good Friday Agreement / Belfast Agreement. Mo was an extraordinary, inspirational woman, and we’re very proud of her Coventry roots. We invite you to join us at our cross-community Equal-i-tea on Tuesday 19 August 2025 to celebrate Mo’s life and values on the 20th anniversary of her passing. Join us for a cross-community afternoon tea & an opportunity to learn more about Mo and her values as a peace builder. We will also unveil our community collage; In Her Footsteps – A tribute to the everyday women in our community who have shaped our values and made the world a better place. Time: 12.00 – 3.00 pm Venue: The Coventry Irish Society, 2nd Floor, Eaton House, Eaton Road, Coventry CV1 2FJ Admission: £10 per person (which covers entry and an afternoon tea with sandwiches and cake). Advanced booking is essential for this ticket-only event. Tickets can be obtained by seeing a member of staff in the office, or by emailing: cis@covirishsoc.org.uk or by telephoning us on 024 7625 6629.
We are hiring for an Early Stage Memory Loss Support Worker This post contract is initially for 1 year - role extension TBC additional funding. Salary: £10,000 P.A (£25,000 pro rata), 15 hours per week. Role pattern is 10am-4pm, Monday, Wednesday and Thursday (excluding lunch). About us: Established in 1993, Coventry Irish Society (CIS) is a Charity providing a wide range of community health and support services to the Irish Community in Coventry. The Coventry Irish Society requires an Early Stage Memory Loss Support Worker to facilitate a 1 half day per week Memory Loss Support Group and a half-day per week Walking Group for the local Irish Community. The role includes working with Carers and increasing mental health awareness to support the local Irish Community. The charity predominantly supports Irish Elders, but also supports Second and Third generation Irish, Irish Survivors and Irish Travellers. To apply for this role, please email your CV with cover letter detailing your experience and skills in line with role requirements and any additional information you think may be relevant. Download and view full job role description below.
